2022.
2022
2022 - What a year. This year was messy. This year was painful. This year was sad. This year was scary. This year was joyful. This year was healing. This year was fulfilling. This year was restorative. This year was filled with gratitude. And there are so many more words I could use to describe 2022.
This year I came full fledged, face to face with all of these descriptions. Each and every one of them.
Messy. This year was messy. I failed more than I succeeded and I fell more than I stood. The mess felt bigger than me at some points of this year. Although this year was messy, I find myself grateful for the mess. Grateful for the stressful college applications, anxious thoughts and extremely hard situations this year. Grateful for the mess not because I would want to relive the messiness of 2022, but thankful as I look back and realize God was in my mess. I'm grateful God pushed me to show up in the middle of my mess, and also allow others into that mess. God can make a miracle into your mess.
Painful. This year was painful beyond belief. And I wish there was a better word for it but there just isn't. This year was painful in ways I have never experienced. Coming face to face with fear of the unknown, face to face with huge disappointments, face to face with hurt, and broken relationships and situations. But throughout this pain in 2022, came surrender. Which before 2022, I have never been able to experience. Through the pains of 2022 also came the ability to put glasses on with lenses of strength and boldness. There is purpose in pain.
Sad. This year was sad. And as I continuously remind myself, I now remind you that it's okay to be sad. For years and years of my life I felt that sadness was unacceptable to society and the generation I have grown up in. In 2022, my sadness was evident. But it was also normalized in my life. Life is hard. And it can make us sad. This year there was many moments where sadness grasped onto my heart. As I graduated high school, it also meant loosing things so very close to me. Like the ability to see my best friends everyday, be known and seen by my community around me, and the loss of relationships in my life i wasn't ready to let go of. But overcoming this sadness became my motivation to stoke these memories and new relationships. Sadness was evident, but so was overcoming it.
Scary. I don't have to say much on this. All I can say is that becoming is scary. Becoming means growing, and growing means changing. And change is scary. But all though it may be insanely scary, that fear can be casted on Jesus, for He cares for you. Blooming into who God created you to be takes faith. It requires you to fight in order to flourish.
Joyful. This year was joyful beyond belief. In April of 2021, I started my platform "The Joy Project", where I serve my community, create instagram content, and most importantly, inspire others to believe that their circumstances do not determine their joy. Joy is not based on our circumstances. Ever since then, joy has not only been my brand but my purpose. When starting my initiative, it was equally for 16 year old Sam, as much as it was for others. In the midst of creating The Joy Project, I was also trying so hard to have joy. My pageant coach, Amanda and I have had millions of conversations about joy. Because joy is so important. She constantly reminded me that my circumstances don't have to define my joy. One thing she said to me one day that I'll never forget is so simple, yet so very important. "Sam, you deserve so much joy". Everyone needs an Amanda! So, finally after many times where I didn't understand how joy was ever going to be attainable, I found and reciprocated it throughout this year. I found joy in the simplest of things. My favorite coffee shops, worship music, DOGS, godly community, nature, the ocean, and sunsets. Just a few of my favorite things that have brought me joy this year. And these things are not contingent on my circumstances.
Healing. This year was a year of healing. This year I have learned that healing is nowhere near linear. Healing can be found in so many ways. It can be found in prayer. It can be found in vulnerability, that fosters hard but the deepest of conversations. it can be found in reading. It can be found in surrender. It can be found in anything that helps you find the person God created you to be.
Fulfilling. This year was fulfilled in so many ways possible. But one big and huge way was my ability to walk boldly into my calling this year. My calling as a writer blossomed as a senior in high school. Coming into college I felt like I had to play it safe. But with so many signs and prayers, I decided to step further into this dream of becoming a writer. Writing not only fulfills me, but allows me an outlet for every single thought in my brain. This ability to explain hard things with grace is a blessing. And I am so grateful for this opportunity. If in 2023, God pushes you into your calling, run sister, don't walk.
Restorative. This year was restorative. God's restorative power is so very good. Coming out of 2021 I was broken. Longing for more, I had no idea what God would do through me. He gave me purpose through my pain. He gave me a voice to worship him, a steadfast obedience to trust in Him, and the ability to fall on my knees and surrender to Him. He gave me the knowledge that this life is better with people in it. He showed me that people are good, and its okay to let others love you! He showed me that life is better with Him. And if He can do it once, He can do it again. Let this be a testament that God can move your mountains. Even if you think you can't start climbing them.
Lastly, this year was filled with gratitude. So, no matter what year you had, I hope you sit here today with a grateful heart. Grateful for the darkness you experienced for there is now a light at the end of the tunnel. Grateful for the music that taught you to dance upon disappointment. Grateful for the people that walked this year with you. Grateful for the coffee you drank, sunsets you watched, prayers you prayed, dogs you pet, songs you worshiped too, thoughts you journaled and mountains you so bravely climbed.
New years are like a sunrise. They are just waiting to beam with light and start a new chapter. And each day is another chance waiting for us to turn the page
YOU DID IT!
See you on the other side! LETS GO 2023!!
Love, Samantha.
