HURT INTO HEAL
A couple of days ago, someone asked me: “How do you know when to embrace the pain to grow or if it’s actually time to let go.”
This question took me aback. For many reasons, but one being that I’m experiencing this ponder myself. When is it time to let go? Letting go is hard. It’s messy, scary, and heavy. We are reluctant to let go, even if the pain we carry is weighing our shoulders like sandbags. There comes a point where this pain becomes comfortable. This pain becomes a part of our routine. We begin to settle for being the second choice and the unanswered text. We validate others' actions to keep us from letting go and validate ourselves while we tell ourselves it's "embracing the pain to grow." These actions are because letting go is hard, and letting go means change. Change feels like a mountain we cannot climb. So instead, we stay at the bottom of the mountain.
I posted a blog about surrounding ourselves with good eggs about a year ago. But, I didn't account for seasons in this life that leave us searching for those good eggs or even letting go of ones who might not be in the following chapters of our life. There will be seasons where letting go will be the heaviest thing on your to-do list. But this once-heavy feeling will become a weight lifted off your shoulders. But when and how do you decide to "embrace to grow, or let go?"
And the answer is in God's hands. These hard seasons allow us to bring this hurt and heaviness to Him. This is the moment where you ask God if He's rewriting this chapter or turning the page?
So, if the answer is turning the page, my advice to you is this: When we flip to next chapters in books, we often need clarification. What's this character doing now? Where are they going? WHAT IS HAPPENING?!! It takes a couple of pages, even chapters, to understand again. So when we turn our page and let go, the first couple of pages will be confusing. Tears might be present, and anxiety might grasp onto your heart. But, with the Lord as your author, He writes only faithful and good promises in your story. His plans don’t promise popularity or perfect friendships. He promises a hopeful future and prosperity. The allowance to wait for this plan might look a little different than you thought.
The chapter on letting go is a hurtful chapter.
A mentor in my life once told me some people are together for a season and apart for a lifetime. And while that might be a hard pill to swallow, I pray you find peace in situations that drain you. You are called to much more than lost friendships and lonely seasons. I encourage you to pray for the ones you let go consistently. You deserve peace washed over the chapters that weigh heavily on you.
Story-time: While moving out of my dorm in Nashville, Tennessee, I had to stop at all my favorite stores one last time. Altar'd State is my favorite store in the south. I opened one of their artsy bibles and this verse was what I flipped to. Deuteronomy 1:6 - "You've stayed at this mountain long enough. Resume your journey and go to the hill country of the Amorites."
and so as I’m currently walking through this season myself, instead of trying to flip quickly through the first couple confusing pages, I instead started to dive into what heals me and climb that mountain.
Reading. Lots of reading. Journaling. Writing. Long walks. Coffee. Discovering New TV-Series. Drawing. Photography. Searching for new worship songs. Serving others. Long drives.
These gifts from God are slowly bringing me back to life. Instead of settling for hurt, I strive for forgiveness, and stillness.
So, I pray that if you are in this season, step into the light, even if you can’t find it, it will find you.
Stop chasing. Let the chase be over. Sit tight, and lay it down. You’ve stayed at this mountain of hurt long enough. Go and resume your beautiful, messy, miraculous journey.
