FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS!
Well, I caved. Our good friend in the pageant community asked us to sign up for her state pageant. She took on the courageous role of directing a pageant in California!
The season I'm in right now is nowhere near what many like to call "Competition ready." Coming face to face with anxiety, sadness, and rejection recently made my spirit darken, and my heart grasp onto disappointment and low motivation. I literally finished/ binged the show "Manifest" in less than two weeks. Now, don't get me wrong, the show was amazing. But the real issue was staying in bed and watching it rather than doing life-giving activities. I was far from prepared to compete in a pageant a week in advance. On top of this, I jumped an entire age division in this system, leading me to be VERY reluctant.
My birthday fell six days from the teen division, and I had to compete as a Miss! Although I'm still 18, I'm considered 19 as of July 1st. This meant competing against girls who were years and years older than me with much more experience. After our friend pushed us to do the pageant, I became more and more excited. The thought of being in an environment that feels like home gave me butterflies in my stomach. Thank you, Jesus, for our fantastic pageant community that rallied around us to help us get ready and prepared in less than a week!
After arriving that weekend, I told myself there would be no pressure whatsoever! This weekend allowed me to be ME. In this rocky season of my life, I have felt farthest from myself than ever before. So this weekend would be the turning point for my mental health. It was an answered prayer.
This Check-In outfit was everything! You can’t go wrong with a little Blair Waldorf inspiration!
(Sheldon Smith Photography)
So, as I stepped into the interview room, I took a deep breath and gave it all I got. I answered my questions authentically. Although pressure could have led me to answer more maturely as the youngest one in my division, I was just Sam. I even talked about my cat, which was a win for me. He is the star of my life! But, in all seriousness, I felt for the first time in an interview room that my voice mattered. Touching on one of my biggest role models and positive influencers, Sadie Robertson, I told the judges that she brings authenticity to the table, as well as generosity. These are all traits I strive to bring to the table. I walked out of the interview room empowered. I felt like I made an impact and shared my story with power. I let it all in God’s hands after that.
My interview look! All thanks to the AMAZING team Makeup By Maskara!
(Sheldon Smith Photography)
There is one very special part about pageantry. You meet some of the sweetest girls during rehearsals and social events. I had the best time seeing friends and bonding with them. It truly was the best part of this weekend!
Well, Sunday came around, and although exhausted, I was so very excited for the finale. At this point, I had forgotten about so many stressors and truly lived in the moment.
As the finale rolled around, we competed in fun fashion and gown before crowing. I felt confident and content with whatever results were coming my way. Because, let's be honest, I signed up a week before!
Throughout the finale, I could hear so many doubts in my head, saying that I wouldn't do well or compare to the girls' against me. I constantly had to remind myself that just Sam was enough. This mantra got me through the finale.
They started to call up the Miss division (I can't even believe I'm considered that, to begin with!). They start with the highest interview score in the division. Holding hands with the girls on stage, I looked around the audience when they began to call the best interview. The emcee starts to say, "number 18, Samantha Macklin". What! Thats ME!
They started to call the runner-ups after, and slowly but surely, there was just me and another girl on stage. WHAT! I could not believe how far I've made it against girls years older than me! As I held hands with Sophie, the sweetest girl on earth, we kept laughing about how BAD our feet hurt.
(Sheldon Smith Photography)
1ST RUNNER-UP! I could hardly believe I made it that far let alone the highest interview score that weekend. Although I could have spent a little more time practicing and a little less time watching Flight 828 go missing, there was something so special about how spontaneous this all was! Perhaps God showed me what a little relaxation does during pageant weekend. The Lord knows I need that!
God moved in so many ways this last weekend. There were so many answered prayers. I finally felt a breath of life. This season of my life led me to believe that darkness couldn't overcome light. But, I quickly realized that I am the light—a light for others, myself, and the Lord. I strived not for greatness but to glorify the work God has done through me. I prayed that it would show. God moved through a HARD valley of mine and turned it into a mountain. He is so good!
Let this be a testament to His goodness and grace and the work he can do through you!
“Perhaps you were born for such a time as this” - Esther 4:14
