Joy is here!
Whenever I sit down to write a blog, I often know exactly how to start, exactly what to title it, etc. This is not the case. In the most recent season of my life, I have experienced genuine joy. I have also experienced genuine disappointment. I have realized in this season, God is allowing me to carry both joy and disappointment. We can carry both grief and contentment. Or, maybe God can carry both sadness and heartbreak, as well as happiness and peace. That’s just the kind of God He is. So, here I am, telling you how God MOVED in this recent season of mine, with no starting point or title for this blog—just a testimony of how good my God is.
I believe that we have covered my journey with pageantry in recent or, mostly, all of my blogs. — I competed for the California Teen Title at National American Miss this July. I have done NAM for now, ten years consecutively. It’s unbelievable to begin to look back at my memorable journey with this system. NAM grew me up, taught me how to take BIG leaps of faith, helped me find beauty in God’s plan, and so much more. I have walked with this system from a tiny but mighty seven-year-old to a strong and faithful nineteen-year-old. — Throughout my journey of trying to capture my state title, there were years I lost humility and was faced with weights my shoulders could hardly handle. — I have been told by the best of the best that in order succeed, you need 20% of skill but often it’s 80% of a mindset to show up as your best self, win or lose. — Whether you believe you can or you can’t, your right.
This year, leading up to my state pageant, I worked relentlessly. From walks to talks, I gave it my all. But more importantly, I gave it all to God this year. While experiencing a season of joy, I shared that genuine joy in the interview room. While experiencing God's goodness in my life, I brought His goodness while praying the top ten out before crowning. My mindset gave me peace. It gave me trust that this was entirely in God's hands. But, in the back of my head, I was hungry and ready. Ready to glorify God with this title, ready to represent my state at nationals, and prepared to serve my community as Miss California.
As I got called as 3RD runner up to the Miss California Teen title for the 3rd time in a row, my heart felt heavy. — 3rd runner-up is a familiar feeling. I felt the amount of strength it took to find that mindset went to no good. Genuine disappointment fell onto my shoulders. — As with every other pageant girl who didn't capture the crown and banner, I thought for just a second, what if just Sam wasn't enough for the judges? Now that I write it, that thought breaks me into a million pieces. Because, just you will always be enough. We pageant girls bravely stand before other human beings to judge us. We put our best foot forward and show up as our best selves, with bigger odds of disappointment than not getting disappointed.
A saying goes around: "A different day, a different set of judges, a different girl." This is so very true in this very rewarding but subjective industry. As I said this statement to myself, I repeated it over and over again. While repeating it, I said, "A different day, a different set of judges, a different girl, Same God." — Same God. I repeated it—same God. The same God who started this journey in 2012, is the same God who had this year in His hands. He is the same God who answered my biggest prayers, walked me through the hardest seasons, and is faithful to His promises. Although the sting of genuine disappointment felt heavy, I also got to hold real joy in the other hand. God allowed me to see that I CAN dance upon disappointment (literally at the ERAS Tour! Best night of my life!)— He allowed me to hold both disappointment and joy. And He can do the same for you, friend.
So, whether you are lucky enough to be a part of this industry that we call pageantry or not, I leave you with this. — The same God who made David a COURAGEOUS king is also holding your hand. The God of Abraham is also leading you to prosperity. In our fast-paced society, where people can be unreliable, circumstances can leave a sting, and rainy days feel a lot more dreary, we have a God who stays constant no matter what the circumstance is. He's the same God who so quickly calls His children beloved. He is the same God who created YOU with purpose. Sweet friend, I hope you never stop seeing God's goodness, even in difficult times. I pray you can let go of what holds you down and begin to carry both hardship and happiness. You are worth the process of becoming everything God created you to be! So, while I didn’t exactly know what to write in the beginning of this blog, I surely know that God is moving. Joy is coming. Gratitude is here. The Lord is writing you a beautiful story.
